The day that changed our lives forever…

I will never forget those words.
Those feelings.
That moment.

That, and many moments to follow, changed our lives forever.

It was a crisp, yet beautiful sunny fall day. It was Tuesday October 27th, 2009, and one of the hardest days of my life.

Hardest. Days. Of. My. Life

…

Tracy, our fantastic Midwife, had asked that we come in a week earlier than our previously scheduled appointment with the “other” Midwife, as she was a little concerned at the fact that M’s weight gain had stalled. Tracy delivered both my kids and she is by far my favorite Midwife, however due to the way their scheduling worked, all my follow up appointments were with the other midwife. As we weren’t anticipating anything exciting, Mr.Morethanyouraveragemom and I had kept the biggest kid out of daycare so we could all head off to the pumpkin patch after the appointment. Little did we know, different plans were in store for us that day.

At our last appointment, I had mentioned a few things “of concern” to the Midwife (the “other” Midwife). Things that weren’t totally out of the ordinary, but were enough to be on my radar as things to bring up at the appointment. For one, Madison had always been a very lazy baby, she would sleep away the days and often didn’t care to wake to eat, or would fall asleep at the boob. When she did feed, she would sweat like crazy, so much so that my shirt would be wet! Nathan often sweat when feeding as a newborn, however he was a May baby, not a September baby so his sweating was due to the higher temperature.
 

…

I don’t know if there’s anything worse in this world than being a concerned parent, and having those concerns be devalued by none other than a medical professional… YOUR medical professional. I felt so defeated after that appointment, so deflated, embarrassed, and upset.

During my visit with Tracy she did all the typical things. Weighed Madison, checked her size, and small talked with me about how she was doing, etc. She then took out her stethoscope and listened to her heart.

She checked.

She checked again.

She moved the stethoscope around listening intently, while I watched just as intently.

Time, stood still.

Then it came, like nothing, and like a ton of bricks all at the same time.

“I think she has a hole in her heart… I’ve never heard one in practice before, but I’m pretty sure this is it.”